Giving Up Hope

B.K.—Narconon Graduate
Each time you hit rock bottom, it’s unimaginably worse than the last. Why does the bottom keep dropping?

I’m slowly falling down, trying to grasp onto anything to keep me afloat. Yet again, I have hit the bottom. Hitting rock bottom is a different experience for everyone. Every individual considers they have it the worst. Yet each time you hit rock bottom, it’s unimaginably worse than the last. Why does the bottom keep dropping?

Another 12-step rehab program promised to work just like all the others.

The doctors would tell me I had a “disease,” a chemical imbalance. What replacement medicine will they prescribe this time? What if I don’t want some prescription to “solve my problems?” At first, I thought the idea of giving drugs to a drug addict as a remedy for a “disease” was a great idea. My life seemed to smooth out for some time. Or so I thought. The prescription “handled” my addiction for the time being.

But eventually, it wasn’t enough and I went back to the drugs that consumed me in the first place. Each relapse took another piece of my soul I was afraid I would never regain. My loved ones aren’t even disappointed anymore because they’ve come to expect that, once again my addiction would prevail. Every ounce of my being wanted to change and to live. And each time I thought I finally achieved sobriety, I was reminded of how weak I truly am.

Every ounce of my being wanted to change and to live. And each time I thought I finally achieved sobriety, I was reminded of how weak I truly am.

After my last relapse, I lost all hope of being anything other than a junkie. I surmised that my life would never exceed what it was at that time.

After years of the same deadbeat cycle, I stumbled across an alternative program to 12-step. This was my last shot at life. I knew if I didn’t try one last time, I was going to die.

It took a lot of time and effort from my family and from the rehab center, but I reluctantly agreed knowing my life was on the line. I walked in thinking I knew what was waiting for me on the other side of the doors, but I was mistaken.

I entered a place where the counselors offered something different for once. Listening to the run down of the program, I felt the smallest inkling of hope inside. But I was stubborn. I figured the outcome was going to be the same because after hearing for so long that I had a disease, I had begun to believe it. It took me some time to genuinely believe I could be helped.

There is no such thing as failure because if you accept failure, you will never conquer anything.

It doesn’t matter how many times someone has been knocked down. It doesn’t matter where you come from, who you are or what you once believed because it is possible for anyone to get help. There is no such thing as failure because if you accept failure, you will never conquer anything.

No one has all the right answers and it’s difficult to know where to send an addict for help. Treatment could be life or death for some. And getting out of a treatment facility and relapsing could be the end of one’s life. After being sober for some period of time, your body’s tolerance is not the same as it was. So using the same amount believing it won’t hurt you is one of the most dangerous aspects of addiction.

That is why finding the right treatment center is crucial for you or your loved one. Realistically, 28-30 days is not nearly enough time for one to change the way they operate and figure out the underlying issue behind their addiction.

I didn’t think it was possible to grow in life or be anything other than an addict, but I’ve overcome my demons and now help others do the same.

The only place that saved my life for good, without a hiccup is Narconon. I didn’t think it was possible to grow in life or be anything other than an addict, but I’ve overcome my demons and now help others do the same.

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction or can’t seem to stay sober, don’t give up hope. Get them into the program that will save their life.

B.K.—Narconon Graduate

AUTHOR

Cori Kertis, CIT

Growing up in Nevada, she moved to Hawaii by herself at the age of 16. On a trip home to visit grandparents, she was offered a chance at residential treatment. Now over a year sober, Cori lives in Denham Springs and works at Narconon Louisiana helping other addicts who want a new life. LinkedIn: Cori Kertis Google+: Cori Kertis Twitter: @CoriKertis

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