I Became My Authentic Self
When I first came to Narconon, I couldn’t have imagined all the wins I’d receive during my time here. Although my history with street drugs was brief compared to many, I’d been a slave to big pharma for 17 years and wasn’t living to my full potential.
My recovery journey started in withdrawal. I was emotional, anxious, and hurting. I remember asking myself how all the staff could be so happy. I feared I’d never get to that point in my life. But, through the drills, nerve assists, and some serious heart to hearts with students and staff, I got through it. I even managed to stop getting frustrated and audibly asking, “where’s the dope?” every time I sneezed more than twice in a row. I’m sure some of you can relate.
“I no longer had cravings and certainly didn’t miss the temporary high I chased not so long ago.”
The second step was a sauna detoxification. It was a bit of a doozy, but it became much smoother. I didn’t have any subconscious distractions, and I used all the resources at my disposal, the staff member in charge of the sauna, being one of the greatest. I worked out hard, drank powdered vitamins like a champ, and pushed myself to complete the sauna program. In the end, I became clear-minded and less anxious. I caught a rad farmer’s tan, and had perhaps the most significant win of learning what it’s like to not be loaded. I no longer had cravings and certainly didn’t miss the temporary high I chased not so long ago.
The next step was Objectives. This part of the program wasn’t just rewarding because of my progress but because of my twin as well. With the help of our Course Supervisor, we pushed through. We shared tears, realizations, and tons of laughter. I finally found the personality I numbed with drugs and slowly started feeling like myself again. I gained a clear head and heart, and I regained the ability to control my mind and body. And most importantly, I could finally be in present time comfortably.
My last stop was Life Skills. Each step of this part of the program was more rewarding than the previous one. I started with Ups and Downs. In this portion, I reached out to my loved ones and took responsibility for the damage I’d caused. More importantly, I recognized my warped view of control and realized since I was not in control of my life, I had selfishly placed that responsibility on my family. It felt incredible to finally have my side of the street clean for the first time in my life. In Personal Values, I could see the pattern of behavior that ultimately led me to Narconon. I felt lighter and even more at peace with each transgression I wrote up. I finally saw there isn’t a single action you take that solely affects yourself, and I’m more than grateful for that much-needed shift in perception. Lastly was the Changing Conditions in Life course. I could take a good look at myself and own the condition I created personally and within my family, relationships, and friends. The best part was I didn’t just own my conditions, I was able to change them. My Ethics Officer was my biggest cheerleader and support throughout my Life Skills. Today I’m my most authentic self because of her.
With that being said, thank you to all the staff. Thank you for not giving up on me even when I wanted to give up on myself. Thank you for those long talks, belly laughs, and golf cart rides. Thank you for all your guidance and fist bumps. Thank you for the morning talks, desserts, and extra pounds I’ll take back home. I’m thankful that the Intake Specialist worked hard to get me here. She was right when she said it would be worth it. I’m proud to say I achieved that with my hard work and determination.
During my time at Narconon, I finally realized why I’ve struggled in my 29 years, and it finally made sense. I finally feel at peace for the first time in all my life. I completed the Narconon program, and it honestly changed my life.
T.M. Narconon Graduate
