Making the Right Choice
“Drugs are not only harmful to the individual, but those who care about them and who they are close to. It’s no secret that drugs disconnect someone from their family. Parents, significant others, siblings, etc., are faced with the fear of their loved one losing their life, and the moral dilemma of knowledge that they are breaking the law. Family often want to help, but feel as if they are walking on eggshells. They’re stuck behind glass watching someone who means the world to them slowly kill themselves.
“For nine years, my parents and sister had to deal with my self-destructive behavior. The lies and deception built a wall in between us. Conversations would often lead to arguments, driving us farther apart. Every few months, I would be in and out of hospitals and outpatient programs for anorexia, bulimia, drugs and alcohol. My parents tried so hard to help, yet with every outstretched hand, I shoved them farther away. I was so angry and hostile and put them through hell and back.
“Now that I have finally reached a point where I am sober and free from all of my addictions and self-destructive behaviors, I have restored the relationship with my family members. I have taken responsibility and changed my selfish ways. All they ever wanted was for me to be happy, successful, and doing well. And they are seeing that—from afar.
“New sobriety is a fragile place to be. You have changed so much, and have to be hyper-aware and careful not to fall back into old patterns. As much as I would love to see my family and show them how well I am doing, I have come to the realization that living back in the same area would be detrimental for many reasons. It may not be the easiest thing to accept, but I know I do better when I am farther away and in environments more conducive to recovery.
“Life comes with many hard choices. And while some may seem selfish, we have to look at the real intentions behind them. I have to take care of myself or my relationship with my family will crumble again. Doing what is best for you isn't always the easiest, but it’s worth it in the end. I would rather, for the first time that I can remember, have a good relationship from miles away than be causing my loved ones more worry and stress.
“Ultimately, you have to be your top priority. Once you are standing on solid ground, you can assess the situation with others. I miss my family, but know that staying in a place where I can strengthen my health and well being is better for everyone involved. Life can be unexpected, but in the end, all of the positive things you do will be worth it.” —Lauren, Narconon Graduate
