Hi, My Name is _____ and I’m a Liar
“The past 17 years, my life has revolved around women, drugs and deception. All of which gave me a false sense of security and happiness that I would never find until the one day I became totally honest and put all my cards on the table.”
“I’m 32 years old and had a great childhood. I have a loving family, one who has loved me since day one. They have never turned their backs on me even during my darkest hours.”
“I started dabbling in drugs when I was 15 years old, mostly out of curiosity then eventually because I loved the way they made me feel. Some people say addiction is a disease you are born with and it is in your genetic makeup. I think that is BS.”
“I built my whole life upon deception, cheating and manipulation. I have a twin brother, and you would be correct in thinking competition with him started it all. I was the youngest in my family and was compared to all my siblings, so for me to get ahead I had to lie, not only to other people but to myself so I could feel worth something and have something to bring to the table. Eventually, the small white lies turned into bigger and bigger lies.”
“Whether it was something small like lying about taking the last cookie out of the jar or something major, like telling everyone I bought a Ferrari when I really bought a 1972 Volkswagen Super beetle. It was only to build me up. I would walk into my one bedroom, one bathroom apartment and pretend it was a 10 bedroom mansion. It was my world and while I loved what I had ’created,’ I was miserable.”
“I had been to numerous treatment centers and would never stay clean. I would make it for a few days or months then back down the rabbit hole I would go, spiraling. Slow at first then faster and faster. I would lie to myself and say I could stop, I’m not addicted or I could do it one more time. I lied so much and was so deceptive that my world, as I knew it, was a lie, which I would again lie to myself about how my world of lies wasn’t a lie.”
“I became a victim of my own fantasy which affected my reality. I never understood why I couldn’t stay clean and it was only when my most recent counselor at Narconon New Life Retreat caught me in a lie. I had a shockwave of emotions and clarity I never had before. I couldn’t talk my way out for the first time. My life, my entire life was a lie. Working with him every day for weeks on end, I got a chance to get everything out. Fighting through blood, sweat and tears was the only way I could finally feel, for real. Before that drugs made me happy, but that was only temporary.”
“Drugs and deception did only one thing for me which was run from myself and not confront my problems. Lying didn’t solve anything for me, it just made my life worse. All it did was have a ripple effect that harmed everyone I met in my life and even though it may have solved a problem right then and there, it always came back. For once I got completely honest, owned up to what I have done wrong, taken responsibility for it and made amends to those it affected. It was a struggle but well worth the prize. Truth.”
“If you are struggling with drugs or alcohol or any other problem, I suggest doing one thing; get honest. First with yourself, then with others because not only does it affect your life but other's lives as well.”
C.H.
