“They have to hit rock bottom…”
Why?
“They have to hit rock bottom…”
This is a commonly shared belief when it comes to people getting clean from drugs and alcohol. Many believe an addict has to reach their “rock bottom” before they can actually get better.
All day long I take phone calls for people looking to get their loved one into treatment. Too often I hear someone tell me their family member struggling with addiction is unwilling and in denial about how bad the problem is. This is usually followed by “Well we want to get them help but I guess he’ll just have to hit rock bottom before anything can happen.” This is a misinformed and misguided opinion I find actually does more harm than good.
An example of this would be a mother who is watching her son struggle with heroin addiction. He is unwilling to check himself into treatment. She hears from her friends “He just has to hit rock bottom. Then he’ll get help.” So she waits. And waits. She doesn't continually address his behavior with him or look into setting something up to get him into treatment. She doesn't research interventions or cut him off financially and give him an ultimatum. She just waits for this theoretical “rock bottom.”
Three months later her son dies of a heroin overdose.
The reason I believe this opinion to be misguided is for some people, far too many, death is their rock bottom.
The reason I believe this opinion to be misguided is for some people, far too many, death is their rock bottom.
In reality, many people go to treatment and are initially unwilling. However, once they arrive, they start receiving the help they need and begin to see a life for themselves without the use of drugs or alcohol. The attitude about treatment from someone strung out on drugs is not a determining factor on whether or not they will get the help they need and ultimately stay clean after they leave treatment. After all, expecting an active drug addict to think rationally and make good decisions is unrealistic.
So, you talk to your loved one and they are unwilling to get help. What’s next? Give up? Start planning a funeral?
It takes a considerable amount of persistence, to get through to someone hooked on drugs. This is usually where the problem arises. The family, often beaten down and exhausted from dealing with the addict, become inclined to apathy about the situation and give up. Not finding fault with family members who have done that, there are in reality two options. Keep trying to get through to them or give up.
If I could offer any advice to family members who want their loved one to get help, it would be to keep trying and don’t give up. Do whatever is required.
If you as a family member have given up, what chance does your loved one struggling with addiction have? That may be hard to digest but people either overcome addiction or it ultimately kills them. There is no in-between. Not to mention the immense amounts of damage to the rest of the family and loved ones as they watch the downward spiral.
If I could offer any advice to family members who want their loved one to get help, it would be to keep trying and don’t give up. Do whatever is required.
Sometimes that may be showing tough love, cutting them off, or scheduling an intervention. If you need help or guidance, call someone who knows what they are talking about and who can help you. The important thing is you continually take action. This will ultimately help you feel better as well because you are actively doing something to address the situation.
Sitting back and waiting for “rock bottom” is the worst thing you can do. If you disagree, then ask yourself this question. What does waiting and doing nothing actually solve? The addict continues to use and watching this does nothing but negatively affect you. The longer you don't take action, the more of a paralyzing affect their addiction has on you. Don't wait. Do something now.
