I Thought I Would Never Be Repaired

B.M. Narconon Graduate
B.M. Narconon Graduate

Before going to Narconon, my life was crumbling quickly. I was losing a lot until I eventually lost myself. I didn’t care about life or death; all I cared about was the next substance I could put in my body to not feel the emotions that came with losing everything and myself. I carried this on all the way up until my body was nearly destroyed. I couldn’t think straight thoughts, and I had become isolated in a state of insanity. I wasn’t eating drinking or sleeping and the times I would fall asleep, I was almost sure I wouldn’t wake up. I didn’t care if I left my family or my daughter, and I didn’t want to fix any of it. I was getting closer to dying each day, leaving my grandma who was the only one to bring me up in life, to start spiraling into a deep depression as well. Still, she got up every day and went to work, making sure I could see another day, and hopefully another opportunity to get better.

One day, she had come home and presented the Narconon New Life Retreat program to me. At first, I didn’t really care much. I had, what I thought hit my point of no return, and felt life everyone would be better off without me. Everyone who loved me and watched me grow up, were now watching me reject life and slowly die.

But I had something in me that wanted to stay alive and use this opportunity as a chance to do just that. So, I used the last of my energy to pack up and hop on a plane to go to a state I have never been to, to meet people I have never met, and the rest was a question from there.

When I arrived in Louisiana, I started in the withdrawal unit, slowly getting on my feet again. So yeah, coming to Narconon I was a complete wreck. I could barely walk and talk like a normal person without stumbling or freezing up. As soon as I got to Withdrawal, I saw a plate of food and ate like I never had before, then fell straight to sleep. All I could do at first was eat, sleep and see the next day again with more and more hope to keep pushing on. There was still a lot of damage needing to be repaired, so coming out of Withdrawal was like a fish coming out of water.

I was healthier, yet shell-shocked at the environment I was in. It wasn’t until I started Sauna and a month of adjusting to finally felt free again. I had started feeling alive again, like a brand new person who could do anything in the world. I still had a lot of work to do myself. I felt brand new, and still, the loss and suffering, all the damage done back home were there. So, I started Objectives, where I gained control over myself again, feeling better and better mentally the more I put into it.

Next came Life Skills, where the therapy part comes in. I have never known more about myself and why I used in the first place until I did Life Skills. Relationships I thought I would never fix were be repaired, got rekindled, and I became more and more fascinated with taking a closer look at my past, myself, and the steps to better living with myself and all the damage I caused. Through this process, I became who I worked so hard to be, and still continuing to be.

“I never thought I would be where I am at today, meeting great people I got very close to, and becoming the version of myself today that continues to achieve everything I wanted in life.”

I want to thank the staff at Narconon for saving my life. I want to thank the other students for being there and looking out for me, all the pool and ball games. I will never forget you are all great guys and I am glad I met all of you, I never thought I would be where I am at today, meeting great people I got very close to, and becoming the version of myself today that continues to achieve everything I wanted in life.

So, yeah, Narconon saved my life.

Thank you.

—B.M. Narconon Graduate


Alina Snowden

Originally from Kentucky, Alina decided after changing her life that she wanted to help others understand the dangers of addiction and help families know what to do if their loved one is struggling. She now writes articles to spread awareness and positivity about how those with addiction problems can turn their lives around.