I’m Proud of the Man I am Today

 

When I first got to Narconon, I was unsure of my decision. I thought to myself, I’m thirty-six years old and don’t fully understand the process. It took me some time to take my mind off everything. I was missing home, my girlfriend, and my life in general. When I got out of withdrawal, I continued my negative thought process. I was going back and forth with myself.

Did I even want to get sober? My negativity continued in the course room. I thought there was no way I would do this, but one day it clicked. I was in Objectives when the light bulb came on. All of a sudden, I was in the present time and aware of everything around me. The supervisors tried telling me about it for a while, but finally, I got it! Wow, what an incredible experience. I could actually think clearly again. I could pay attention to someone and actually listen to every word and keep track, acknowledge, and repeat the same thing without having to read it. I could memorize something back, which I thought was gone forever. All of a sudden, my pessimism turned to optimism. My thinking and awareness continued to improve all the way through. My IQ skyrocketed, and so did my confidence. Finally, I finished Objectives; what a feat!

Then came ups and downs, and my negativity started to creep up. It again took me a bit to grasp the purpose, but I did and it was another fantastic lesson. I was identifying characteristics of the people in my life and having the skills to handle their personalities and the tools to handle the future people that will come into my life. This was hands-down one of the best skills I have ever acquired when analyzing my life.

“Finally, I regained the ability to want to be sober and not want to be who I was. I am proud of who I am today.”

From there, I started to look at the damage I had caused and take responsibility for it. This was one of the hardest parts for me. Who wants to put on paper the terrible things they have done in life and not have a way of justifying them? I got through it, though. Then I started conditions, and again I became confused and frustrated. Thanks to the supervisor, it didn’t take long to understand the concept, and I got through it with many wins and gains. I had many realizations about myself, who I have been and who I want to be. Finally, I regained the ability to want to be sober and not want to be who I was. I am proud of who I am today.

Thank you to Narconon. I want to thank everyone—the staff and students who have become some of my closest friends. I am very blessed to have had the opportunity to come here.

S.F., Narconon Graduate