Repairing the Damage Done to My Family
During the midst of addiction, we push away the ones that love us the most. Whether it has to do with our insecurities or the fact that we know they’ll still be there for us. Our parents tend to be the ones we push away the furthest. Why? There are many different reasons why. A former addict opened up and told me how their relationship with their family was in shambles but now is doing better than ever.
“Growing up, it was okay. I had a good childhood. We went on family vacations, and my dad always made sure we had what we needed and a lot of what we wanted. He was out of town a lot for his job, and at the time, I felt like he pushed me off on my mom. She wasn’t the one I wanted to spend time with; I wanted to spend time with my dad.
“Before coming to Narconon, my relationship with my dad was strained. I lied and manipulated him. Over the forty years of my drug use, I caused my dad a lot of stress, worry, and sleepless nights. I pushed him away, but he never gave up on me.
“Now our relationship is a lot better. He was worried I wasn’t going to finish the program at one point. I talk to him a few times a week, and he always tells me how proud of me he is, and it gave me the motivation to keep going.
“My mom was my stepmom, but she was the only mom I knew. I had resentment towards her for being there and making me share my dad with her. So, I isolated myself in my room and pushed her away. I always told her she wasn’t my mom, and I didn’t have to do what she told me.
“Before coming to Narconon, I moved down near my parents, and I started to build a relationship with her. One where I could tell her anything. We lived near each other, and she would worry and stress about me. She and my daughter saw firsthand all the chaos and destruction I was in and the downward spiral I was on. She was all for me getting help and believed that it was the best thing. She prayed for me to get the help I needed. Me coming to Narconon was an answer to her prayers. I get along much better with my mom and now see how much she really cared and truly just wanted to help me all along.
“My daughter and my relationship with her struggled. She was ashamed of me and had resentment towards me for not being there like a mother should. I pushed her off on my mom to take care of her. It caused her a lot of stress and worry, which ultimately led to her not wanting anything to do with me if I chose to continue living the way I was before Narconon.
“After coming to Narconon, I took responsibility for all the damage I caused, and I worked on myself. I became the person I was meant to be, and our relationship has grown. She’s now willing to give me another chance to grow our relationship into something we didn’t have before. My daughter is proud of me. We used to butt heads over stupid things. Now I’m open to her beliefs, wants, and needs. I’m willing to accept her with love and understanding.
“I’ve been to treatment centers in the past; this one by far is the most different because it’s helped me find the root and reason why I turned to drugs. I realize what the reasons are as to why I escaped to drugs. I didn’t want to face life and the responsibility I had. I’ve accepted who I am, and I’m capable of making life better. Repairing these relationships was difficult but well worth it. It’s not easy, but it’s doable. It was all a work in progress, and now’s the time to prove myself.”
K.D. Narconon Graduate
As addicts, we do a lot of damage; we believe there is no fixing. We feel as though we are hopeless, and no one is there. We seem to forget that family is always in your corner. Even though damage has been done, it can be repaired. Pushing through the challenging parts will bring you out to the other side. There is the hope of improving your relationship with your family, even after years of damage and drug abuse. You don’t have to allow your past choices to define your future. There is a way out, and that is the way through.