Three Years of Freedom!
Throughout my life, I had always struggled to discover who I was, and this struggle was particularly pronounced during my early teenage years. I heard that drugs were a solution to a problem, but I never really applied that to myself.
I am from an affluent family, and each person in my life held a prominent position in our community. My family taught me morals and ethics, helping me learn the difference between right and wrong at a very young age. It’s not that I had trauma or came from a bad home; I had just started to make bad decisions and wanted to be one of the “cool kids.”
The first time I tried marijuana was about age ten, and to my surprise, I never actually got high from it. I later tried marijuana again at about the age of fourteen. That’s when I discovered it made me feel better. I had more confidence and better self-esteem; colors seemed brighter, and music sounded better. At that point in my life, I decided I wanted to feel this way all the time.
I was young, it was “only weed,” and I didn’t see it as a big deal. I was still maintaining good grades and participating in sports, and my family was pleased with me. It wasn’t until age 15 when one of my friends introduced me to “Vicodin,” or Norco, and that’s when everything changed. I became heavily involved in pain pills: Xanax, Valium, Klonopin, or any benzodiazepine I could get my hands on. My use got to the point where I went to various doctors to get them prescribed.
However, I was always able to maintain a good job and an excellent GPA in high school and college, and I attained two degrees, all while on drugs. I had it very justified in my mind that this was what I needed to survive and become a better individual across all aspects of my life. My addiction didn’t hit me until the year 2019–2020 during the span of COVID, and by that time, I was heavily addicted to OxyContin and was taking up to 10–15 30 mg pills a day.
During COVID, it became extremely difficult to find OxyContin, so I decided to make the transition into what I knew to be “pressed” fentanyl OxyContin 30 mg pills. All I wanted was to get high, and I didn’t care anymore. I continued to ask myself how this small little pill could take this much control of my life. By that time, I was using it in the morning to wake up, during the day to feel normal, and at night to fall asleep. It became a habit and an everyday routine. All I cared about was feeling exactly what the pill made me feel, so I didn’t have to experience everything life threw at me. It became a solution for every single problem that came up.
I destroyed relationships with my family, lost jobs and old friends, and was left with nothing. I remember going on a bender one night with a friend, and we had gone through at least an eight-ball of heroin/fentanyl together, along with more Xanax and Valium and a tremendous amount of cocaine. It then hit me the next day, and I thought, “Man, what am I doing with my life?” I was extremely depressed; my life was going nowhere, and all I had at the end of the day were memories of everything I had destroyed that kept me trapped in the circuitous loop of addiction.
I had a memory come up with a friend who had attended rehab in the past, and I gave him a call while I was driving home. He said, “Yeah, man, I’m sorry you’re going through that, and I understand how you feel; let me go ahead and have Narconon give you a call.” Within 5–10 minutes, I was greeted by a gentleman over the phone who established a level of understanding with me that was unprecedented, and he was able to relate to me in ways no other person could at that time. He gave me a way out of the cycle of drug addiction.
I arrived at Narconon within the next 5 days after that phone call. I had no idea what to expect; all I wanted was change. I then met an individual named Ray, who was running the withdrawal portion of the program. Ray was very attentive and catered to my every need. I then felt a sense of security and comfort, and at that moment, I knew I was in the right place. The withdrawals came, and the detox started. They were able to relieve most of my discomfort by giving me assists to help alleviate those withdrawal symptoms.
“It was by far the easiest withdrawal I had experienced in my life. The staff had set me up for success.”
During this process, I started having a lot of bad memories come up, which were the same ones I used drugs and alcohol to make disappear. The staff helped keep my attention off everything from the past and directed it outward onto my environment through some of the drills they used. It was by far the easiest withdrawal I had experienced in my life. The staff had set me up for success.
The next portion of the program was Sauna. The biggest reason I continued to relapse repeatedly despite all the attempts I had made to get clean was insufficient sleep. I had heard from others who had done the program that the Sauna Detoxification would help cleanse my body and clear my mind—something I so desperately wanted. During my month in Sauna, I began to get adequate rest and slept well for over eight hours a night. I recall having an epiphany while I was outside, staring at the trees and thinking to myself, “Wow, the colors are vibrant.”
That was the first time I had experienced life in quite some time. My skin was clearer, my responses to conversation were faster, and I no longer had mental and physical cravings from drugs. The veil of cognitive fog was lifted from me, and I had finally achieved the desired outcome: a clear body and a clear mind. Unfortunately, I still found myself dwelling on past mistakes and the damage I had created. Most of my attention was fixated on those memories, and I discovered many of them were influencing the way I reacted to people during my time at Narconon, so I was never fully present.
Objectives were the next portion of the program, and I was told this would help me tremendously, finally allowing me to be in the moment. During my time in Objectives, I was able to think more logically and make less reactive decisions. My communication increased exponentially, and I found myself listening more than responding. This, by far, was and still is my favorite part of the program. I experienced numerous “light bulb” moments and finally began to live in the present. I no longer had my attention on anything that occurred in the past, and I was finally able to “let go” of all my mistakes. It helped me become a new person.
It was then time to confront the damage I had created with my family. Life skills put me in a position to finally figure out what problem in life I used drugs and alcohol as a solution for. I started by recognizing the people in my life who would either be constructive or destructive and cutting those out of my life who proved to be counter to my survival. I was able to reshape my values and regain my integrity. The last part of the program was done precisely, and I was finally able to solve the problem in my life and figure out what drugs and alcohol were a solution for. I learned what responsibility meant, and Narconon gave me the tools I had lost, helping me regain my life.
“My life has improved drastically; since the Narconon program,
I have remained sober for three years now. I have met the love of my life, and we have created a family together. The Narconon Program has taught me to be a better son, grandson, partner, and contributing member of society.”
My life has improved drastically since the Narconon program; I have remained sober for three years now. I have met the love of my life, and we have created a family together. The Narconon program has taught me to be a better son, grandson, partner, and contributing member of society. I have been able to confront life with a different outlook, I am optimistic in my thought processes, and I am finally able to control my life and create it how I see fit. Narconon is different from all other rehabilitation centers; instead of others telling you what your problem is and giving you medication to solve it, Narconon helps you figure out what problem in life you tried to resolve with drugs and alcohol. Addiction isn’t lifelong, and there is always a way out. Narconon will give you the tools you need to succeed and help you take your life back.
—C.M., Narconon Graduate
