Unhealthy Relationships in Addiction
“To all the guys in the world who mistreat their girlfriends. Let me tell you. It’s not fair at all to either one of you. Cheating on someone causes low self-esteem and depression and can make the person who is cheating feel like giving up. You should treat your partner with love and compassion every day. If you mess up, tell them you messed up. It’s better than withholding things. Withholding whatever drives an even bigger wedge in your relationship and doesn't let the relationship to grow. To all of you guys and girls out there, this is a big issue and only leads down a destructive path. Nobody wants to be alone. But also, nobody wants to be lied to. Who knows where I would be now if I hadn’t cheated on my girl? In closing, it’s always better to be as honest as you can and supportive of your significant other’s hopes and dreams and goals.”
T.S. Narconon Graduate
A healthy relationship is nearly impossible when someone is struggling with addiction. Being an addict, you’re typically focused on one thing. An addict is focused on getting their fix, and it doesn’t matter how; lying, cheating, or stealing. You are leaving your partner in the dust, whether you realize it or not.
It is easy to run away when things get tough. People go shopping, to a party, on a drive, to a friend’s house; there are several things done to escape. Many addicts turn to drugs or alcohol to escape the reality that is before them. In relationships, it is hard to know what to do, but we all know right from wrong. When you’re an addict, you know right from wrong but don’t care. The lines get blurred by clouded judgment and instant gratification, and ultimately you are looking to please yourself and don’t care about how others may feel in the process.
Cheating on your loved one is never an acceptable answer. Turning to drugs and alcohol to escape reality doesn’t solve problems. When you cheat on someone in a relationship, the message you are sending them is that they are not good enough. Cheating to get your fix shows your loved one how little you truly think of them. You are putting drugs and alcohol above your loved one’s feelings, which could then make them feel worthless.
Unfortunately, in addiction, lying to your loved one is more common than people realize. There are white lies and small things people will lie about daily. Remember that when lying, you slowly destroy your loved one’s trust. Even small things, over time, add up. Trust will inevitably go out the window when lying about using or how much you are drinking.
When you and your loved one struggle with addiction, a healthy relationship is nearly impossible. Many people will work to screw the other one over to get their fix and get ahead. There is no trust. Addiction, lies, and deceit fuel the relationship.
The thing is, relationships are difficult. But you need to work as a team and work towards the same goals. Ensure your and your partner’s needs, wants, and aspirations align and that both are on the same page. When two people work with two different end goals in mind, things start to go sideways.
Communication, honesty, and being faithful are critical to a healthy relationship. What do you have if you can’t be open and honest with your partner? If you constantly feel you must lie or hide things, that’s unhealthy. Cheating because you are trying to get something or feel something isn’t healthy.
If you or a loved one are struggling in an addictive relationship, know there is a way out. You can get help and work to repair the damage you have done. It will take time, but it can be done. Here at Narconon, we work to get the underlying root of your addiction and work to help repair the damage you have done in your relationships. The first thing to do is reach out for help before it’s too late.