Wiping My Slate Clean

When I first arrived at Narconon, I was very nervous my first night. I thought everyone was going to judge me, but then realized we were alike in some way or another. I spent five days in the Withdrawal unit and told myself I was leaving when I completed the sauna program. Towards the end of the sauna, I felt 100 times better both mentally and physically. So, I decided to give the rest of the program a chance, and it sure opened my mind. I had realizations throughout the Objectives, one of the biggest was that you could waste pretty much everything in this world. It’s all a matter of control, choice, and decision. By the end of the Objectives, I was in the present time and aware of my body and its surroundings. I felt a tremendous difference in my way of thinking.

I moved on to the Life Skills part of the program. I began to write my life story and there were many things I needed to get off my chest. I started analyzing the people in my life. By disconnecting from those who could be a threat to my survival and handling situations with my family, I felt a great sense of relief. My family was so proud of me for taking responsibility.

I then moved on to the Personal Values course. This part was kind of tough for me because many of the things I had to take responsibility for had to do with my deceased mother. By the end of this part, it felt like a truck had been lifted from my chest.

“I learned some key things, specifically the two words
integrity and honesty.”

I learned some key things, specifically the two words integrity and honesty. The first one, integrity has an exceptional meaning to me. Integrity is kind of a moral code on being honest. No matter who it might hurt, it is better to be correct than to keep covering up lies. Honesty is something I had never practiced before. But I had to be truthful and not hide, no matter what I think the outcome might be. You won’t know until you try this, and I will no longer be the person I was in the past. I will keep my integrity, by being honest instead of hiding things. I will now be truthful because the outcome will be much better than living a lie. No matter what the consequences are for being truthful, it is always better than the results of lying.

I felt like I had wiped my slate clean and was finally able to see where my problems with drugs had begun with the help of the staff.

I moved onto the Conditions course working my way through them. I was accepted back as a group member and got some life-changing advice from the staff. This advice caused a shift in my viewpoint on life, and now after completing the program and everything, I can honestly say I have never felt this alive.

T.T., Graduate Narconon New Life Retreat