Become the Best “You” for Yourself and Your Loved Ones
From an early age, it quickly became evident I did not know how to function without some sort of crutch or vice. I found myself hanging out with the wrong crowd, and by the age of 13 I had already tried 10 to 15 different kinds of drugs. My parents were very disappointed and upset at my drug use. They were scared I would end up dead, which looking back at how many of my high school friends are dead, I understand. They made the decision I was better suited away from that crowd and sent me to a boarding school over a thousand miles away. While I was there, I created this hate and resentment within me towards them, which I held onto for a very long time. I always felt like they had given up on me when the harsh reality was, I had driven them into fear for my life by my actions.
At 17, I met the young woman I would later marry. She and I were both at a point in our lives where we were both using drugs; this was one of the main things we had in common. Over the next two years, we kept getting deeper and deeper into drug use. Until the night before my 19th birthday and she had a little too much. At 10:42 P.M. on May 24th, 2015, I held her lifeless body in my arms, and it was only by the grace of God the life came back into her body after having no pulse for over 2 minutes. I quit drugs right there on the spot and was clean for nearly 5 years.
But I did not realize emotions of childhood memories and the overdose would eat away at me. Looking back at the last three years of my life and despite everything on the surface going right—a stable and high-paying job, family, fancy cars, etc… I even welcomed my 1st child into this world on February 4th, 2019. You would think I would be happy but, I wasn’t.
“When COVID-19 hit, I hit my breaking point and I started smoking marijuana again.”
I was holding onto guilt for all my previous wrongdoings. This started with drinking excessively which increased into drinking more and more as the days passed. When COVID-19 hit, I hit my breaking point and I started smoking marijuana again. What I didn’t realize is those unhandled negative feelings were the start of the slippery slope that didn’t end until January 29th, 2021 when I arrived at Narconon Louisiana.
That has truly been the best thing that ever happened to me, even though I was in treatment for my son’s second birthday. I do not regret this because it brought me to a place where I know that despite what I had to go through, or what I had done to others, I wound up in a safe place with no judgment at Narconon. This not only allowed me to move on but move forward with life in a productive way.
I urge anyone reading this to really take a moment and be brutally honest with themselves. Take the time to do everything you can to become more stable and become the best “you” for yourself and your loved ones.
I know for me; a huge part of my success has been reaching out to my family members with the goal of actively rebuilding the relationships I have harmed. The way I am doing this is laying it all out there for them by being honest with myself first, and secondly with them. This has made it so my communication with them has been the best it has ever been.
While this left me vulnerable, the reward is worth so much more than the little bit of discomfort I had to endure. The reward I gained was trust and respect.
This is not the “easy” way. Drugs are the “easy” way. This is the right way and the only true way. A quote I promised myself I would live by from this point forward is “Be the change you wish to see in the world” (Gandhi). These changes I have made will enable me to make even more changes for my family and those I love.
—K.K., Narconon Graduate