Descent Into Heavy Drug Use
Growing up, I was a very hyper child and craved attention. At the age of 12, around the time of my brother’s death, I went into counseling for his passing. I received a prescription of Seroquel and Klonopin for sleep and anxiety. I took them and felt like I was floating in a cloud, euphoric, and finally, at ease. I fabricated the idea a tablet would fix all my problems because that’s what my mom did when she couldn’t deal with me; bring me to a therapist as if I’m problematic and a burden to my family. I never felt good enough for her, despite my honor roll status and all my achievements.
I did everything in my power to be a perfect child and was not accepted by my family. I gave up on being a role model and turned into a destructive, rebellious child. I searched for acceptance from other individuals and created problems, not knowing how to solve them. I began drug-seeking and hung out with older kids who had experimented with polydrug use.
In my fit of rebellion, I started smoking marijuana and taking random pills regularly, not even aware of what they were. One that sticks out the most is Adderall. It made me calm, focused, and motivated. I asked the dude who gave it to me how he obtained this “wonder pill” and told me a psychologist could prescribe it to me. I went to my appointment and received 20 mg extended-release Adderall per my request. I ended up taking the entire 30-day script with three of my friends the first day I got the bottle.
Excessive intake of my medicine became a constant occurrence, crushing and snorting multiple doses of my prescription, consuming another pill as soon as I was coming down. I would come to find a continuous need to have more. A few months had gone by, and my script increased to 30 mg 2x per day. I was not sleeping most of the time, and stayed up for weeks, taking beyond the prescribed dose. I became paranoid and extremely aggressive and irritable.
I always ran out a couple of weeks before my script renewed. During this period, I searched for something of similar effects. I came across cocaine, ecstasy, inhalants, and cough medicine. I was only 14 by this time and already experimented with many dangerous hard drugs. In a drug-induced fit of rage, my mother called the police and I was arrested and sentenced to 3 months in a detention center.
While there, I had a C.T. scan due to severe back pain and the doctors diagnosed me with scoliosis. They prescribed me 5 mg Norcos. I was very intrigued by the distinguishing differences and similarities painkillers had vs. stimulants, energized yet relaxed. This euphoria only lasted for a month before needing a higher dose; 30mg Oxycontin. At this point, I was thoroughly addicted to painkillers, but had no idea what I would endure if I ceased taking them.