Descent Into Heavy Drug Use

Part 4

 

There was a point where I began to want to get sober. During the last two years of the four years I was with my boyfriend I went back and forth about this in my head. My addiction was out of control, I had almost died from endocarditis, pneumonia, and blood clots in my lung. He would bring me drugs in the hospital. He watched me shoot up crack and heroin right into the pick line to my heart. Then there was his constant use of heroin and multiple overdoses that kept me in a state of constant worry. He enabled me and I enabled him. I was fully aware if I chose to continue dating him, we would both end up dead.

So, I left. He overdosed and I felt I could have stopped that from happening. After his death, I gave up on the idea of trying to get clean and started to shoot an excessive amount of cocaine. I occasionally shot up heroin. As a result of my extensive cocaine use, I ended up overdosing. The first responders found I had a warrant. I went to jail and received another felony because I possessed a gram of cocaine in the booking department.

I remained incarcerated for about a month and released with the stipulation not to use, and since I was a habitual offender, I would be facing six years of prison. I disregarded the requirements and did not take it seriously. I had the intention of going on a bender buying 2 grams of heroin, a gram of crack, and 3 grams of cocaine. I was taking a hand full of Xanax, smoking crack, and shooting heroin in my friend’s basement. I stopped breathing and did not remember a thing. She gave me C.P.R. until the first responders arrived. I flatlined four times before I reached the hospital. I got out the next day and didn't even realize why I was in the hospital in the first place.

Two weeks later, still deep into my addiction, I never put the needle or pipe down. I became aware of why I was in the hospital, but that did not stop my habit—never considering I would die and not come back. Thinking I was invincible, I was blind to the fact that I'm toxic and needed help before it was too late.

My court date arrived, and the judge found out I violated my condition. There is no question I needed to get into rehab. So, I did.

I am now almost a year sober. This is a dream come true. Fate intervened and led me here. I am certain, I do not have to live a life of chaos and destruction anymore. I have done the work to get to this point. Now I have the goal of helping others and saving their life from further decay is my passion. No one is too far gone or too deep in their addiction to get into treatment. Of this I am certain.