The Full Story of My Struggle with Addiction

This is a story from a Narconon graduate. It describes the struggles he encountered and the tactics he used to continue using drugs despite all the troubles it was creating.

“My mother never used drugs. She hardly drank. My father was a heroin and cocaine addict back when he was in his late teens. He had been sober for over 20 years and did not drink, not even socially. Of course, I did not know that until later.

“I began using drugs and alcohol in my junior year of high school. I didn’t do it as an escape from anything. I had a good life, I played varsity soccer and I had friends. I wasn’t the most popular kid, but I was well-liked. I was never bullied. There was nothing wrong with my life that made me do drugs. My parents pushed me to be successful but still gave me my space. I began to drink on the weekends and smoke a little weed here and there, but nothing too alarming. My freshman year of college is when I my drinking and drug use began to increase.

“After playing soccer my whole life, I realized I was going to have to do something with my life. I was good but not good enough to be a professional player and I was okay with that. I just didn’t know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I started taking Adderall to help me with school. On the weekends, I justified having a tough week at school by going out and drinking. I was introduced to cocaine shortly after. I dropped out of school and got an 8-5 job, all the while continuing to drink and use drugs. Eventually I got caught by my parents. I told them it was no big deal and I could stop whenever I wanted to, that it was only an “experience” for me and now that I had tried it, I was done. But I wasn’t.

“They asked me if I needed help, but I continued to claim that I could stop whenever I wanted to. I always managed to manipulate my way out of situations. As long as I had a roof over my head and food on the table, I did not care…”

“I felt lost. I wasn’t ready to confront the rest of my life. Yet alcohol, marijuana, and cocaine weren’t cutting it for me. I started trying painkillers and anti-anxiety medications and that’s when things really started going downhill. I began to get sloppy. My parents started finding my drugs and I got the “talk” many times. They asked me if I needed help, but I continued to claim that I could stop whenever I wanted to. I always managed to manipulate my way out of situations. As long as I had a roof over my head and food on the table, I did not care.

“Then, when I found out that my father had been an addict in his younger years, my drug use was suddenly justifiable. If he did drugs in the past, then why couldn’t I? This person I looked up to during my childhood had a past that he didn’t share with me. I felt hurt. I had always wanted to be like my father. He was well liked and respected around the community. Everyone wanted to be his friend. In a way, I wanted to outdo him, and I did it in the way I only knew how.

“Every time I got caught using drugs, I would throw it in my father’s face. I told him he was a hypocrite for not letting me experience what he had experienced. I became very antagonistic towards my father. I blamed him for my condition. I believed that because he used drugs, I was now destined to be a drug addict forever.

“With my mother it was different. She knew nothing about drugs or addiction and I used that to my advantage. I would manipulate my mom to tell my dad to take it easy on me. She would always be on my side. However, that eventually changed and towards the end, she began siding with my father.

“Before coming to Narconon, I used drugs to simply not confront the situation I had put myself in. Fortunately, everything changed thanks to Narconon. I was able to address my issues and get sober and productive and I am forever in debt to my family and the staff who helped me through the program.”