Accepting My Past and Moving Forward In Life
Before I decided to go to Narconon, I was mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. I remember laying on my couch defeated, exhausted, and just sick and tired of being sick and tired. For as long as I could remember, I had been suffering silently. I would keep all my feelings and emotions to myself. I had been running from my past and pretending that nothing had happened. I acted like I hadn’t been through some extremely traumatic situations and experiences. I would block them out of my memory, hoping they would disappear. But, I must be completely honest and say some of my past could give the strongest people nightmares.
I was at my lowest point and about to throw my hands up and give up for good. I’d lost four important people and friends in a short time, and I was struggling mentally. That same day while I was lying on my couch, barely able to have enough strength even to open my eyes, my friend reached me. He knows my history and the point I had reached in my life, which wasn’t good. He urged me to go to Narconon. He told me he was back in treatment and suggested I try it.
I called and talked to one of the intake specialists thinking there was no way. But little did I know, the staff took me in with open arms. Two days later, I was in withdrawal. At that point, I think I put the entire Narconon staff on their toes, and they were ready to handle me. I feel like my whole attitude changed the moment I arrived, and I was just grateful that someone had thrown a lifeline at the perfect moment.
I started sauna, and with one of the girl’s support, day by day, I began to feel like a completely new person. Then I started Objectives. Again, with the same girl right by my side. With her help and support as my twin, I began to confront all my pain and guilt. For a long time, I had been attempting to mask all these problems by using drugs to check out of reality. As I sat and talked with her, I told her about my past through running Objectives. I began to explain, relive, and put all those situations and events I have been trying to cover up and ignore for the past seventeen years behind me. I told her things I’d never told a single person before. No matter what, she was beside me, holding my hand, cheering me on, and even crying with me on more than one occasion. I could feel the weight of those burdens be lifted and gradually felt relief.
My relief didn’t stop at Objectives. In Life Skills, I did handling with my family and children. I was able to reconnect with my three sisters and take responsibility for my past to them. I also disconnected from the people in my life that had a negative impact on me.
“I will forever be grateful for you guys giving me my life back, and that kind of thing could never be repaid.”
Today I stand here, grateful and appreciative to the entire Narconon staff. I have so much for every one of you guys, for your constant support and wisdom shown to me during my entire program, and I will forever be grateful for you guys giving me my life back, and that kind of thing could never be repaid.
B.K., Narconon Graduate