Found the Light in the Dark and Overcame My Addiction
In the weeks before coming to Narconon, I had quit work, didn’t venture out of my room, drank, and drank, and waited for something to happen. I had three options: keep drinking, go to treatment, or kill myself. I decided two things wouldn’t happen, so I came here.
Going through withdrawal was hell—aches, sweats, a horrible feeling I wanted to escape from; more than anything, I remember sitting in withdrawal, head against the wall, thinking this was the worst time in my life. It was 2:30 am in Louisiana, in rehab, wondering how I got this bad. But, I also remember thinking I would go through this and eventually look back on it as something difficult that I overcame, the cost of change.
And on I went to the sauna [New Life Detox]. Of course, in the sauna, I sweat everything out of me. But, throughout the process, my mood improved, my mental clarity and understanding increased, and I generally felt better. During sauna, I had many feelings come up, both positive and negative. However, even the downs have brought positivity, like how the dark makes you appreciate the light more.
Objectives helped me see the world with a lot more of an open mind. At first, I was not too fond of commands, nor did I enjoy the process. I spent a lot of time confused, waiting for something to happen. However, through various objectives, the ideas became more apparent, and what started as a countdown to the next became calmer and clearer to me. My surroundings stopped being a room with items and became a place for something new. Of course, there is no change without pain or at least a lot of discomfort. Objectives were full of difficulties—with myself, my patience, my twin, and the objectives themselves. Over time, I became much more patient and aware of my surroundings, body, and environment. I became better at communicating with my surroundings and my twin. My life improved, and I became better at following my thoughts, my thought train, and understanding my emotions.
In Life Skills, I was able to reconnect with my sister and also begin to mend some of the damage I inflicted upon my wife. Looking at the wrongdoing I did across the different aspects of my life was not easy for me. I had a heavy realization that my alcohol use and abuse permeated all aspects of my life—hurting myself, my family, my wife, my friends, my work, my home, the world around me, and even my pets. One item led to another and another and another. Throughout this program, I find myself putting past acts behind me and using that to fuel a better future as a happier, healthier person.
All the while, staff and students alike were around to help, talk, listen, and lend a hand whenever possible. As a result, I had a lot of realizations about myself both in and out of the course and life in many things. Changes were occurring even if I didn’t always see them.
“I leave here now sober, more well-adjusted to “normal” life—knowing things will never be perfect, but that I am infinitely more capable of making better choices.”
I leave here now sober, more well-adjusted to “normal” life—knowing things will never be perfect, but that I am infinitely more capable of making better choices.
A.W. Narconon Graduate
