The Happiest I’ve Ever Been
When I got to Narconon, I didn’t want to be here. At the time, I had a boyfriend and was focused on going back to him. I slept for four days in a row when I got to withdrawal. When I finally woke up, one of the staff members was the first person I saw, and I started yelling at her. I told her I didn’t want to be here. The staff came and talked to me and calmed me down, and I went and apologized to her, even though I continued to feel the same way. Doing the mental exercises in withdrawal helped me stop focusing on leaving and stop focusing on my boyfriend. Then I started different mental exercises that helped me be able to confront things comfortably. It wasn’t until I finally detached myself from him and started focusing on me that my days got easier.
Then I started sauna. Now, I have a better point of view. My mind feels clearer, and I feel more receptive to what people are actually saying instead of being closed-minded. I feel like a whole new person, my true self, and what a beautiful, amazing feeling that is. When I first started, I felt numb, and I didn’t know my body and mind. After going through all the manifestations and reactions, I feel able to be there and confront all the situations that occur. On my second day in sauna, I freaked out. The emotions I was feeling were insane. It has been so long since I felt emotions and pain. It was the longest five hours of my life. From there, my days got easier. By the end, I felt clear and aware of my body and emotions. I could never control my emotions or feel my emotions. Since doing sauna, I feel like I am back in control of my actions and emotions. I am extremely happy, and I no longer crave any drugs. After sauna, I moved on to Objectives.
In Objectives, I learned how to be in present time and let things go. I continued working on my mental exercises, and I can finally be in any situation comfortably and confront any problems instead of running away from them.
“My true friends are the people who love their family, who are honest, loyal, positive, prioritizing, and have good ethics that choose friends wisely. That’s me and that’s my friends.”
In the life skills courses, I learned antisocial and social personalities and deconstructive and constructive behaviors. Then, after seeing my responsibility in my life, I saw and learned patterns where I adapted to my environment. I placed my responsibility on my family and learned that my effect and cause hurt my family. From there, I started repairing my sister and my relationship and owned up to my mistakes. The life skills courses got me to the root of my problems. I ran from my problems and I created my own problems and adapted to my environment and had no self-confidence. I didn’t know how to confront my problems, so my problems kept piling up. Addressing the issues with my relationships has brought my family and me so much closer. I’ve done so much wrong to my family, and they’re able to accept me back into the group to be a part of their team. From there, I reconnected with my sister. I can honestly say this is the happiest I’ve been in a year. A big thank you goes out to the ethics officer for being there for me when I needed her the most when dealing with things I’ve never confronted. Now I can confront any situation that is thrown my way. I detached myself from 189 people that I considered to be negative influences. My true friends are the people who love their family, who are honest, loyal, positive, prioritizing, and have good ethics that choose friends wisely. That’s me, and that’s my friends.
—J.D., Narconon Graduate