No Regrets
For a long time, I always regretted my choices. I constantly asked myself, if I had done things differently, would I still have struggled with addiction? Looking back, the road I traveled during my addiction led me to where I am today, and I while I am not happy I traveled that road, I have learned from that journey. This is my journey of self-discovery I proudly share because I feel everyone should be proud they overcame addiction.
Growing up, I had a fairly normal childhood. I had two loving parents, a great house, nice clothes, and three dogs. Looking back, there was nothing traumatic that occurred to cause me to want to escape my life. I dealt with the same issues every kid does; bullies, wanting to be considered “cool,” and having a popular boy like me.
By high school though, I’d given up on caring. I didn’t care about myself or what others thought of me. All I cared about was drinking and forgetting everything. This continued for a while until my dad noticed his liquor was missing and started locking it up. After that, I decided it was time to quit drinking and time to enjoy my life as a teenager. I stayed sober for a while and seemed happy, but inside I always felt like something was missing. When I turned sixteen, I tried marijuana.
I felt like I was on top of the world. I would laugh, enjoy my food like never before, and believed everything in life was better. Then I met my then-boyfriend who showed me a dark world I never knew existed. He abused me physically and emotionally and destroyed the person I was. For so long, all I wanted was for someone to love me, so I accepted this was the best it was going to get. I stayed in that relationship for two years. During that time, I became addicted to alcohol again and added cocaine on top of it. I loved the numb feeling I felt from the cocaine and the dazed and confused state the alcohol added to it. I didn’t care how I was being treated as long as I was numb.
Finally, the relationship ended and I felt emptier than I had before. I continued drowning my problems with alcohol for two more years. I would wake up and my feet would be numb from being cold and my upper body was sweating. My anxiety was out of control and I believed I needed something to function. I physically depended on alcohol and drugs in order to get through the day.
My parents started noticing I wasn’t around much. I was up all hours of the night, and all over the place. These were some of the first signs to them I was using drugs. Many people struggle in the shadows and try to hide it, especially from the ones they love and I was good at hiding things.
“My support group, mom, dad, and aunt are the reason I could be strong and finish this program, and I haven’t looked back since. Narconon saved my life.”
My parents didn’t give up on me and with their help, I arrived to do the Narconon program. My support group, mom, dad, and aunt are the reason I could be strong and finish this program, and I haven’t looked back since. Narconon saved my life.
The staff truly care about you and want you to succeed in life. They don’t believe addiction plagues you for the rest of your life and you can overcome it. I learned to love myself again and realized I don’t need alcohol or drugs in order to live. Narconon gave me my life back. I overcame my addiction and am no longer being held down because of it. A helping hand gave me the strength to get sober, and I cannot imagine my life any differently. Thanks to Narconon I have a second chance.
I now hear from many addicts, all with different stories, telling me they struggled silently too. If you suspect a loved one is struggling with addiction, look at the signs of addiction. Asking for help isn’t easy, neither is admitting you have a problem, but reaching your hand out to help a loved one is.
