The Truth Will Set You Free

 

In the midst of addiction, we lie constantly to those around us. We lie about where we’re going, what we’re doing, and where our money is going, among many other lies. We struggle to keep up with them because we are continuously lying about anything and everything. The hardest thing to realize is we’re not just lying to those who love us, we are lying to ourselves.

When I first started smoking marijuana, I would lie about what I was doing with my friends. I would also be very vague. I wouldn’t offer much, and if my parents asked me, I’d lie. When I was in high school, I was close with three girls. Three of the four of us were adopted. One night after a basketball game, we all smoked weed. When I got home, my mom asked me why my eyes were bloodshot. I told her I was crying because my friend had found out about her adoption story and it was horrible. I went to my room and believed I was a genius. The next day, my mom asked me what the story was, and I had no clue what she was talking about. I then had to cover myself and lie through my teeth. I do not know what I told her, but she bought it. From there, the lies continued and got worse.

When I was in my early twenties, I was drinking constantly and my boyfriend at the time knew it was bad. He constantly told me I needed to go to treatment. I believed he was crazy to think it was that bad. Then, after a while of us dating, I started doing cocaine to keep up at work and try to talk to him when he worked at night. After a few weeks of using, he knew something was off. He questioned me about how I could function with such little sleep and why I wasn’t eating. I told him I drank energy drinks and was just stressed and not hungry.

He finally went through my phone to figure out what I was up to. He saw a message where I was trying to buy cocaine and then asked me if I was on drugs. The lies started flowing, and I told him no. I thought I was off the hook and had gotten away with it. After a while, all the puzzle pieces came together for him, and he realized I was a drug addict. He was furious and asked me why I lied. All he wanted for me to do was be honest, and I couldn’t do it. I lied about having liquor in the house, where I was, who I was with, where my money went, and the final straw was when I lied about using cocaine.

These stories make it sound like I was just lying to the ones I love, but that’s far from the truth. I was also lying to myself. Every time I lied to my parents and got away with it, I believed I was a good liar and could get away with anything. Over time I believed I didn’t have a problem. In my mind, no one knew and so as long as no one knew, I could do whatever I wanted. Obviously, if they didn’t notice it, there was no issue with what I was doing. I now can see just how wrong I was. I pushed away everyone I loved and cared about because all I did was lie to them.

When you lie, you not only hurt the ones you love, you hurt yourself. You tell yourself it’s okay and rationalize what you’re doing in order to avoid being wrong. In the long run, you’re just hurting yourself. It’s much simpler to tell the truth than to keep up with all the lies you’re telling. No matter how big your lie is, lies are still lies.

Get honest with yourself, stop the destructive behavior, and seek the help you need. Narconon has helped people get honest with themselves and those who love them. You can repair the damage and Narconon is here to help every step of the way.

A.S. Narconon Graduate