I Never Gave Up The Fight

 

When I was a young boy, I was given up for adoption and later blessed with a beautiful family. Growing up was difficult because I always had the feeling my parents and my sister weren’t my actual family. This caused a lot of problems for me and also tore my family apart. I was about fourteen years old when I came out as a gay man, and life got very difficult.

There was a lot of drinking, drugs, sexual encounters, and chaos that followed in the years to come. I left my home because of differences and beliefs and attempted to start my life as a young adult. I lived with several family members who I took advantage of, and they all eventually got sick of my antics. In August 2016, I was partying with some old friends one night. I got in my car, drove home, and ended up crashing and totaling my car. I walked out of the accident unharmed, but I lost my license and got a DWI at eighteen. After losing my job, I ended up working for my father, who owns his own construction company.

That summer, I worked hard and ended up spending all of my money on alcohol and hard drugs. I learned that living on my own was difficult.

After a while, I finally told my mom and dad I needed help when I reached my breaking point. They sent me to South Florida in 2017, and I stayed sober for four months. I ended up relapsing, and it broke my family’s heart.

I got assaulted by my boyfriend, and he was arrested. They sent him back to New York, and shortly after, I went on a drug binge that almost ended my life. After that, I went back to New York and lived in a tent for eight months. I started a new job and was on massive amounts of cocaine to keep up with my coworkers. I also drowned my feelings with alcohol.

I ended up going back to rehab in South Florida. With the help of the program, I stayed sober for six months. I got a good job, and then, when everything seemed to be going well, my good friend passed away. I went to the funeral and was devastated and felt very alone. A couple of weeks after the funeral, I had relapsed but got another couple of months of sobriety once again. I ended up contracting COVID-19 and was very sick for a few weeks. I stayed sober for six weeks and finally tested negative for COVID. After that, I stayed sober for six months until one day, my ex called me.

He had a needle sticking out of his arm and was shooting up meth on video chat. This was very traumatic for me, so I got blackout drunk and ended up having to go to detox in Miami. When I got out of detox, I had my drug dealer come and pick me up. I ended up on another drug binge for about six months and overdosed several times. While I was deep in active addiction, my best friend broke the news that her mom had cancer, and she needed help, but she also wanted me to get into a program before I came home. I ended up back in treatment and spent four months sober.

While in treatment, my ex-boyfriend harassed me, trying to make me jealous. I fed into it, and when I finally got out of treatment, I was on my way home to help my friend’s mom, but other things got in the way. My ex called me while he was with his ex-partner, and I demanded that he bring me drugs. After three days of waiting, he left his ex’s house and brought me a large bag of meth. This started my downward spiral of shooting cocaine and meth almost every day for an entire year with him. This caused my health to deteriorate, and I almost lost my life several times.

In August 2021, my sister had asked me to be her best man at her wedding. I saw so many people that love and care about me, and they all questioned me about what was going on with me. Some of them had not seen me in a very long time. The next day, my mom, dad, sister, and brother-in-law sat me down and asked me what I wanted to do. Deep down, I knew I had way more potential than I was giving myself credit for. I absolutely hated life, was pushing everyone I knew away from me, and I kept asking a higher power to “Please send help for me!”

I didn’t know what to do anymore. So, my parents offered to send me to Narconon. I know several people who have completed the Narconon program, and they now have several years clean and have even started their own business. After missing my first flight on purpose, I had realized that I made the worst mistake of my life. I shot up a ton of cocaine, and as I was about to fall asleep, for what I thought was the last time, my best friend called me up and told me they were on their way to pick me up. I had exhausted all options, and I was so tired of fighting for my life.

Finally, I got on the plane to Louisiana, and I haven’t looked back since. I was frail, tried, and practically dead. I got off the plane and was greeted by two friendly staff members. From there, I went to withdrawal, I had a bumpy start. I started sobbing and was thinking to myself, “How in the hell did I let this happen again?” I ate everything in sight, and that’s when I looked in the mirror and saw a lifeless skeleton looking back at me. There was a sense of shock that went through me. It shocked me to be alive, and I told myself I needed to get this right or I am likely to die. During my time in withdrawal, I was sort of on cloud nine and weirdly happy. From there, I went to Sauna.

During Sauna, I started experiencing emotions I had shut myself off from. I was creating drama and problems, which the staff worked with me to get through. When I got to the end, I had no longer felt any cravings for drugs. It seemed as if I was ten years younger. After Sauna, I went on to Objectives.

At first, I did not understand the point of Objectives. Throughout the process, my vision improved, and things started becoming more real after every Objective I completed. I remember realizing there were butterflies around and dragonflies, and I smiled. I felt much better and happier. Once I was done, I went on to Life Skills.

Life Skills was one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life, but it was also one of the most rewarding experiences. I mended relationships with my sister, mom, and dad. Looking at the damage and seeing my part in all of it really opened my eyes. I am taking responsibility for my actions and am being sincere in what I speak now. I want to thank all the staff here at Narconon. You all are truly amazing people, and you saved my life.

“I graduated from the Narconon Program and am more proud of this achievement than my high school diploma or culinary school certificate.”

I would recommend this program to anyone or their families, as it has changed my life. I am grateful Narconon saw I had the potential to succeed and never gave up on me even when I had given up on myself. I graduated from the Narconon Program and am more proud of this achievement than my high school diploma or culinary school certificate.

O.B., Narconon Graduate