Today I write this finally being clean for an entire year!
I had been on drugs since I can remember. At age 13, I was drinking. My parents knew I smoked weed and drank alcohol, but they had no idea that I tried and used everything under the sun. You name it I tried it.
It wasn’t until I was shooting heroin that I realized I had a problem. I was lost, broken, confused, selfish, and irresponsible. I couldn’t stop using. I’d wake up and say okay I’m not going to get heroin but then I did. Every day I told myself this is the last day!
Well I can say I now wake up every day with a smile. I wake up with hope, faith, love, God, family, friends, & being in control over my life. I wake up with a purpose! I’ve helped someone get to Narconon and that feeling is unlike any other. I’m able to give back to the place that changed my life by promoting and reaching out to those who were once like me. Lost, alone, and so deep into their drug use that they have no idea where to start.
I am someone people can actually count on. I no longer use people. I have actual friends who accept me for who I am and build me up. I always thought I was alone and now I realize I have the best support system and I am forever blessed. I no longer steal or manipulate to get what I want and work hard for everything.
I love myself and don’t degrade, destroy, or belittle myself. I’m not promiscuous. I no longer feel the need for that because I love myself. I love my flaws, I love my quirkiness, I even love my dysfunction. I’m not perfect, but I take responsibility for my mistakes. I have self-worth and self-respect. I love laughing and just being myself. I love that I love life like I do.
There are things in life that are thrown my way but I handle them the right way. I have a great relationship with my family and they deserve the world. I have a nephew who is almost a year old and I know I am a person in his life who he can look up to and I’m not the aunt who is strung out on drugs. I have also rebuilt my relationship with God. I am no longer just a body. I am an actual person. I am no longer numb to the world. I love being able to feel and have emotions.
I learn more things about myself every single day and have grown more in the past year than I ever have in my entire life. I am strong, independent, and hard working. I now understand what it means to have ethics, personal integrity, & self worth. I’m in control over my life. No drug, no person, no one else but me is in control. No one did this but me. I wanted it and by golly I got it.
I’m a year clean and that is simply amazing. To be where I am at today compared to a year ago! I love my life, I love myself, & I’m clean! No one can take that away from me. Thank you Narconon, staff members, fellow graduates, my family, and of course God.