I Look Like I’ve Got It All Together


Hinkle-Recovered
To look at me now, I look like I’ve got it all together. Three beautiful happy healthy children, an amazing job, a house, a car, and the love and support of my amazing family and friends. And that is my life now. But not so long ago, I was the farthest thing from being what you would call put together.

Three and a half years ago, I was at a place in my life where I had lost myself long before. I was struggling to find happiness in anything and in that search, I was introduced to heroin. I thought why not? I instantly was hooked. It numbed me and it felt so good to be numb. That good feeling lasted only a very short while. And so began the two year chase that was my addiction. It was an all-consuming love affair. Perpetually chasing, not caring about anyone or anything except heroin. I would rob, lie, cheat, and steal from anyone and justify it by telling myself I’m a junkie and that’s what junkies do.

In July 2013, I was arrested for heroin and lost my children. I would love to say that this is where I reached out for help but that would be a lie. The next month and a half were a an increasingly rapid downward spiral. I no longer had the responsibility of my children so I went deeper than ever. I awoke one day in some sordid motel room. With a semi-clear head I realized I was ready for this nightmare to end. I reached out to my parents (who had at the time cut me out of their lives). They found Narconon Louisiana and a week later I was on my way.

My stay at Narconon was a short 4 1/2 months. At times I wanted to run back home so I didn’t have to face my past. But I never did. The staff showed me compassion, understanding, and on more than a few occasions, tough love. It was the hardest and most rewarding 4 1/2 months in my life and I’m so thankful my family found such an amazing place for me to find myself again. Today I’m almost 16 months clean. I have my kids back. I have an amazing relationship with my two year old nephew. I have the trust of my family back. I am a fully contributing member of society. I pay my bills for the first time in my life. And I smile more than I ever thought possible.

I am humbled by my experience with heroin. I know that life has its good times and its bad. I also know with certainty that I will make it through every one of those days without drugs. I conquered my demons and all of the hard work I have done and continue to do is giving me a life better than I ever could have imagined.

Here’s to 2015 another year of being clean.